Unknown 04/06

Never lose that curiosity
The curiosity that causes you to dig deeper
Refuse to settle for a simple answer,
always ask further questions
then step further and decipher it again

Because if I ever leave
Or if he were ever to return
I’d rather cry on your shoulder,
telling you why
Than stick to an easy lie
and never know what should have
could have
happened.

Thinking about you now just bringsĀ pain
It’s as if whenever a memory you comes across my mind,
A tiny string tugs at my heart, begging it to break
over and over.

You are fine now and I am fine now but,
There will never be a day that I’m ‘fine’ with the outcome
There are tears set aside for each time I mourn
what we could have turned out to be

You are not exed out, you are not the past, nor are you history
You are a stain which will not wash away

Red Thread Heart

I wonder about you sometimes. I worry even more. I hope you are drinking water and eating and sleeping okay. I hope you still enjoy walks outside and carry a compassion for small animals. I wish you the best while you carry on in this world without my hand in yours.

I don’t know why we were so drawn together, like two broken magnets that were so strong in their connection but so weak in the execution. I know each fortune told in both of your palms though I have never ran my hands over them.

But we still stare at the same moon and breathe the same air. Sometimes that has to be just…enough.

We have these red strings that are like crumb trails to those that matter most in our life. But I don’t imagine there to be only one. Like veins in our body, they reach far and many to our vital organs. Our vital players on this chessboard of life.

I am grateful for you, but I am grateful from this distance. I will tie a balloon to the end of your red thread, and set you free among the stars. You can choose to guide me when I’m lost, but never lose track of your own constellation that holds you close to the moon.

I am angry at every particle of air that comes between us
The distance between your lips and mine when we kiss is still too far
And I want to sleep inside your mouth, so I’m the only name on your tongue
Tell me in detail how you fall asleep and how you wake up
Do you stretch each sleepy muscle to settle into your dreams
Which nightmares wake you up and which can you fight through
I want to memorize each canyon that runs through your palm
That way I can pretend to know how well our futures collide
What order do you wash your body parts in,
And do you prefer bar soap or body wash?

When you pull away from me, I get a phantom limb sensation
A part of me goes missing when you move away
My molecules like your molecules and when we touch a few of them linger
I think you took a few with you because I feel a few of yours in me
We didn’t just come together, we intertwined like adolescent tree roots
You can grow with me if I can grow with you
You can use my water when you’re thirsty
And my sunlight will always shine on you as well
Because I want your good along with your bad;
I’ll take on each painful memory and closeted skeleton
I will fight on your side because I know you’d always fight on mine

I think it’s true what is said about true love
We carry two halves of a soul that was once together as one
I like to think I would know when I found that missing piece
And surprise,
I found you