how to gain confidence from other peoples emotional hot flashes

When I turn on the air conditioning from the heat,
It becomes too cold and you step outside
You mention how you need to defrost from the cold blast
But why change a climate when you are wanting to leave
The next time you came over, I had a fire and blankets
My favorite worn blanket, with stains and tears
Your fingers touched the fringe and you turned up your nose
You said it was too rough against your skin and much too warm
But I have nothing else to wrap around you but used quilts

My quilts that have history make you spit on them,
You said they were much too dark, much too damaged,
Much too busy in its pattern and it was an eyesore
I wondered if a down-feather, pure white blanket suited you better
I never buy them anymore because I’m allergic
And we all know I’m clumsy, so it would be coffee covered off-white

I thought about what I could do to meet up to your standards
If I changed the temperature again, would it please you this time?
But I could buy a thousand blankets and a million fans-
And you would still find it at an uncomfortable degree
So when the sun so bright it burned my eyes,
but it still fell at that perfect August sunset;
and the grass feels like the rough edges of my blanket,
but it was cool and soft between my bare feet;
I was reminded imperfections grow in the ground,
they fall from the sky, shine in the moon and bloom in the Spring

Unknown 04/06

Never lose that curiosity
The curiosity that causes you to dig deeper
Refuse to settle for a simple answer,
always ask further questions
then step further and decipher it again

Because if I ever leave
Or if he were ever to return
I’d rather cry on your shoulder,
telling you why
Than stick to an easy lie
and never know what should have
could have


“What is it like to do heroin?”
Asks my ten year old self in drug prevention
There are certain moments that are like the movies-
foreshadowing the future for the featured main character
And we all believe we are the stars in our own show

I wonder if when my ten-year-old self questioned that,
I could ever even fathom the fact that I know the answer now